SHIT! Flaws in Man-list........

Oh no, Pei just informed me that we know someone that meets all the criteria on Man-List! The fact that he is unavailable is besides the point; the real issue is that I never once considered him as Dream-man material....... How can that be? Is there something missing from the list? Charisma? Attraction? Now I am completely baffled and am very worried. We have after all encircled the list in stones and burnt it. Better SMS God asap and put the man-hunt on hold until further thought!



PS : Mr "Dream-man" has to stay anonymous so that he does not get hounded by you crazy women and his girlfriend does not slaughter me! :)

If you kill it, you eat it!!

The kids went fishing off the Asean lady yesterday and surprisingly caught a number of fish. (Less than the maids, but it was a decent catch!) Juven & I were a little upset at seeing the little fishies swimming in the blue bucket and resolved that if we are going to allow our children to kill, they are going to have to clean, cook & eat the fish. The crew looked a little horrified when we mentioned that we wanted to eat the fish. At first we thought it was because the waters off Raffles Marina weren't too clean, so they were afraid that we'd get sick, but nah....... it was having to put up with all of us messing up the galley that terrorised them!

My boys were completely useless in the kitchen, but Charlotte was amazing. She held the fish in one hand, a fork in the other and de-scaled the fish! My boys were squirming like girls...... Cleaned and gutted, the fish were steamed and served for dinner! Delicious!

Since we were at the Marina, we took the opportunity to visit some boats...... I told the boys we were going to sail around the world in a boat like this and they were unanimous with the "NOOOOOO"! Gosh they are spoilt! There were some really gorgeous catamarans there though........ Will have to look into this.

Sunset on the Asean lady. Boys wanted to go around the world on the Asean Lady instead! Ya, right! :)

The Man-List

There was an abundance of single women at the circus; all beautiful, intelligent and amazing. Most yogis I know are however single and seem to be quite happy that way. Anyway, we did loads of girlie-talk and there were quite a number of theories about getting the “RIGHT” man. Since coming home, I have been giving this some thought and figured, hey, what’s the harm in trying this out. Don't get be wrong, I am perfectly happy being single (not that I don't miss Tim, cos I do), but there is a certain freedom in single hood, that I am just starting to enjoy!

STEP- BY-STEP GUIDE
1. Write down all the qualities you want in a man. (Don’t be shy; be as specific as possible)
2. Ensure that you have all the qualities first (This gets tough….)
3. Put down the name of a man you know that already possess each quality (Sabine feels that knowing that the qualities already exist in people we know will make us feel less incomplete. I think it may be depressing….)
4. Put the paper in a circle of stones and offer it as a burning sacrifice to God.
5. Wait patiently for man in question will manifest himself...

I told Rachel about my THE LIST the other day and she scoffed at me! Told me to try internet dating instead! Now, where is the romance in that? Anyway, 1 bottle of Raki, 1 bottle of port and 1/2 a bottle of sherry later, I convinced her otherwise! We went to the park at the witch's hour, encircled our list in stones and burnt it ceremoniously........ So, all there is to do now is wait patiently!!!

By the way, if anyone fits the bill, we will be holding interviews in major cities around the world with a global jury (filled with very hot women!). And if you know of someone, there is a Referral Fee plus we promise to name our 1st born after you!

Elaine's MAN-LIST

1. Yogi – meditates and does not kill flies!
2. Gives amazing massages
3. Artistically inclined in some way or other (I wanted a painter or sculptor but Rachel edited it out .....)
4. Sportive – Triathlete or an athlete of some sort; Runs, cycles, climbs, skis or is passionate about some sport (bowling & golf do not count)
5. Loves children – adores my boys and wants a gazillion children
6. Is financially able to support the gazillion children (but not rich!)
7. Loves and adores me; but isn’t going to put up with any of my crap (and definitely not for 13yrs before blowing up!)
8. Spiritual – loves God but not necessarily into organised religion
9. Has rhythm and likes to dance (especially the salsa! Or tango!)
10. Anti-consumerism (has no clue who Paul Smith is and thinks Ferragamo is a type of cheese. OK, does not have to be completely swaku la!)
11. Completely Apolitical
12. Musical – can sing or at least play the guitar, drums or piano
13. Loves food – can cook, eats healthy (vegetarian but feels that rules are made to be broken so is happy to indulge in a succulent wagyu steak once in a while!)
14. Easy on the Environment– sorts his rubbish, walks rather than uses the car (but owns a car!)
15. Adventurous and loves to travel – as comfortable at the Four Seasons as camping in the jungle!
16. Well read – We can have different taste in books but he must love Gibran at least half as much as I do and be boy enough to appreciate the Alchemist!
17. Is a family man – or at least understands that I need to be close to my family
18. Exceptionally good in bed
19. Has a strong value system – I know what they say about men not able to be monogamous, but still, I think fidelity is quite important!
20. Has a beautiful voice, good conversationalist but not full of himself and does not talk incessantly.
21. Preferably not Ang Moh, but I am not really racist, so I do not know why this is coming on the list ??
22. Somewhat good-looking would be nice but must have a hot bod! (6 pack)
23. A nice guy.
    

FYI, no one I have ever been out with comes remotely close to this!!

LIFE AFTER THE CIRCUS

I have been back 10 days and Greece feels like a lifetime ago. It was difficult the first couple of days; I missed my friends at the circus, the quiet and peace, the hours of bodywork….. and of course, I was going through caffeine withdrawal!(*) (Yes, I am almost completely weaned off coffee now.)

On the other hand, I am back with my boys, mum, family and friends. And it’s wonderful! The boys are having exams now so it has been a little stressful. My math isn’t really up to scratch and I have spent the last week struggling through Primary 4 and 5 maths problems….. I eventually had to call in help from friends. Yep, I am hopeless! Like Aunty SuLi said, can someone remind me how we use calculas and algebra in everyday life?
Friends helping Kids with Maths night before exam!

Other than that, we have been un-packing and getting settled into the “new” flat! Ya, a little renovation, and we get tricked into thinking it’s all new! Great! The boys love their new room. The skylight leaked during the heavy rains the other day but uncle Clement has come to fix it! And me, I am enjoying having a gigantic Princess & the Pea bed! I have slept on the floor for the past 3years so this really is a nice change!

Nic, Mat & Steph in their new room and beds!

Me on my Princess & the Pea Bed!

I have gotten into quite a nice routine. I am up before sunrise whether there is class or not! I give a yoga class several mornings a week then I do 1-2hrs of self practise; Meditation or yoga dance, which is my new thing; thanks to Sabine! Unfortunately, in my over-zealous enthusiasm, I sprained my right wrist doing a back-bend fall-back whilst gyrating to the rhythms of Krishna Das! Ya, and my right hamstring still hasn’t recovered from all the yoga-dancing in Crete! I don’t know if my body can take much more of this!

A couple of times a week, I try to squeeze in a run in between meditation and yoga. The ½ marathon is a month away and I have no idea how to get from 8km to 21km!! With my new running philosophy: Mindful running focusing on the present, my runs are now joyful runs. In the past, I found running hell. I enjoyed the post-run; the cleansing of the pores, the sweat, the tingling sensations, but I hated the run itself! I think this is because my runs were always riddled with disappointment. I was always targeting to reach the end of some hill or some road, but in the end, there is always some more hill and some more road…. Now, I just enjoy the moment of the run until I don’t anymore, then I stop. Which is where the problem lies; how to break the 8km ceiling whilst maintaining the joyful run?

Well, by the time I finish all the yoga & running, it is 9.30am and I start doing some real work; going through the countless bills, checking on the shares, working on ID Band… I lost all our living money in the stock market this past month so I hope God gives me some kind of quick get rich plan soon or I will have to look for work

There is some income coming in from the Yoga and the massage work but it is hardly enough to live with and I am reluctant to start too many new classes as we are off to Laos then India in a month.

I started working at the Orchard Residences Spa with Dolphin Network last week. It’s a lot of hassle and it doesn’t pay very well to work outside of home but the experience was nice. They have a gorgeous massage platform by the pool to work on! I think my massage has improved; there has been quite a number of repeat clients (within a short 2 week time frame) and patients are asking to extend their sessions to 2 and 2 1/2hrs.

I did a Chinese Meridien Stretching Class with Mum and her friends Uncle Suresh and Aunty May the other day. I pretty much followed David’s instructions and it seemed easy enough, but there were loads of cries of aches and pains the next day. Guess their Meridians have not been stretched in a while!

Belinda & Myra

3 generations of friends & family! Uncle Suresh & Aunty May (from Canada), Aunty Maggie (the boy's god-ma) and half the TAY gang.

I have been trying to practise “Single Moment Single Activity”, and it is very difficult indeed! Whoever came up with that is obviously not a mum. We, mums, multi-task and it’s our forte; the ability to prepare dinner, check on the kids homework, teach a yoga class and design a website all in one afternoon’s work!

(*) Note : I may be off the coffee, but I have now developed a much worse addiction! SUGAR; Ice-cream and cakes after each meal.... It is awful! I am at Daily Scoop, the ice cream shop down the road, everyday, so much so that the waiters know me! And for those of you who have not been initiated to the best home-made ice-cream in Spore, you have to come and try Daily Scoop @ Sunset Way. The Durian and Cempadak flavors are to die for!

We celebrated my grandma's 3rd death anniversary. (It's only been 2 yrs but they add 1 more yr to confuse the spirits I think!) Ah Mah has been speaking to various members of the family requesting that we buy her a bigger house because she has to share a room and for some strange reason, she requested for a handphone (not that she ever used one when she was alive!) Anyway, good filial children that we are, we bought her a mansion and 6 handphones (but with only 1 SIM card so that she does not get mixed-up! LOL) There was a little ceremony with a priest, loads of chanting in cantonese that no one understood then we burnt everything up so that she can enjoy it in the Afterworld.

It has been 2 weeks of birthdays (and loads of cakes)... Emma's 7th bday (I lost the photos so will need to get them off Peng. Tim, you would have been so proud of Ems. She had her party at BakerzInn and was all decked out in a chef's uniform.).... Myra's 3rd Birthday..... Tzen Wei's 11th bday.... Oliver Khye's 1 month (That is Craig & Sharon's new baby & the boy's new god-brother! We had some super pictures of the handsome baby but I can't find em! Anyway, the proud parents decided not to celebrate his one month but celebrate his 2nd month instead. So original!)

Why God Chopped off my right foot!

I actually wrote this entry 1 month ago when we covered FEET at the circus but was reluctant to publish it on the blog cos I thought it was kindda personal.

Craig & Sharon asked me last night why I wrote a blog.

"Cos I like to write!", I exclaimed.

"Ya, you can always write but why do you feel that you have to publish it for the whole world to read!", they rebuked.

OK, that got me. I don't know. Am I an exhibitionist? Narcissist? (I had to look that one up and according to dictionary.com, it is an "inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love, vanity") Or maybe, I am trying to reach out to someone out there who will read my stories and go "Ya girl, I know exactly where you are coming from !" haha

Anyway, I will give this somemore thought and check in with sister Peng, the blog guru, to have her take on this!

OK, back to publishing this Foot story. I figured it is something akin to going to AA. If I can say it out loud (or in this case, publish it on a blog), I am on the way to getting healed! So, here it goes...

I am Elaine and I am a controlling, self-righteous, psycho-bitch that emasculated the men in my life. (Notice the plural!) Wow, the ex-husbands, ex-fiances, ex-boyfriends will have a field day with this one! Eerr, I kindda thought I would suddenly feel this great weight lift off my shoulders after that declaration, but alas, no such luck!

We worked on the feet on the 1st day. The feet is a very special part of the body. The whole body can be represented in the feet, both physically and emotionally. I am not going to go into the details about all the lines and points, but I want to share one learning.

Our right side represents the masculine side of us, the Yang, and our left, our feminine side, the Yin. Well, as some of you may know, my right foot was pretty much chopped off during the Tsunami. My Achilles tendon was completed severed together with 80% of the nerves in the foot. The tendon was re-sewn back, but I still have very little sensation at the sole of my feet and the last 3 toes.

After Rod, The ex-husband left in May 2004, I quickly got very busy re-constructing my life. I made a bunch of new friends, and went about life at 120km/hr …. Working, looking after the kids, partying, tennis, horse-riding, wake-boarding, trekking….. Bear in mind that I gave birth to Stephan on the 19th April 2004. I don’t remember the details, but May & June where probably trauma months. We moved out of our flat (to eradicate some of the memories), and moved into a rental flat close to my parents. I was trying to cope with being a single mum, and being close to my mum was the only way I knew how to do it. She has been my pillar of strength and support.

Breastfeeding and caring for a new-born baby was no easy task, but I had to handle the 2 older boys too, who were traumatised by Rod leaving and by my psychotic behaviour! When I told them that their father had left, Nicolas could not stop crying and screaming…. Mathieu did not shed a tear and without a word, went to bed… Each had their own way of handling the situation. I remember when we were packing to move out of the flat, Mathieu wanted to find his dinosaur. This was no special dinosaur and I do not even re-call him having any particular attachment to it, but he could not find it and he would not stop screaming and scratched himself all over until he bled.

I guess it was a trying time for everyone. Nic had asthma attacks and Mat was covered in Eczema from head to toe. (It was awful!) It wasn’t until we went trekking in Gua Musang that both were healed. We were in this special place without running water, no electricity and no toilets. And we found our peace and healing, in August 2004. Well, at least peace at some level.

Anyway, back to the story of the foot. Well, I was everywhere and doing a million things at a time. I guess that was my way of coping. I don’t think I slept much during those months. After Gua Musang in August, we went away with Chin & friends to Desaru, then horse riding in Malaysia, then Phuket with the Teongs in November, then Zermatt with Craig, Sharon, Teongs & friends, then to Penang in December with the family.

BUT, God had other plans! On the 26th Dec, God decided to make me STOP. He chopped off my right foot! (The male side of me!)

You need to know that one of the reasons Rod gave (other than the lame excuse of “I need to go and find myself”), was that he felt emasculated by me. Well, I don't think "esmasculated" is in his vocabulary but there must have been some French equivalent! I always needed to be right; it was my way or the highway. Worse, I wanted to do it all and have it all! Be a good mum, a top executive, still have time for charity work, teach Sunday school….. And I wanted a man who could bloody do all that and more. I guess, for the 13yrs that we were together, he fell short of the mark and I made no qualms about letting him know that. I was angry that he was not who I wanted him to be, and that was not fair. It does not forgive the fact that he left me for another woman, but I take my fair share of the blame…..

So, God cut off my right foot, and since nerves can never be 100% repaired, I will have to live with having a numb foot, for the rest of my life, to forever surpress the masculine side of me! I wonder if it is working? Well, I am now job-less and penniless so I must be on the right track! LOL

The Ghost from Crete

I hardly slept a wink during the month in Greece. I had nightly visitors from the other world.... or at least I was pretty convinced that they were from the other world.
Anyway, I have spent almost all my time since coming back in bed catching up on lost sleep, and it was all great until last night. I was knacked and couldn't wait to get into bed but once I got in, I could not sleep. Shit, did the ghost from Crete follow me all the way here?

Well, I did not see him, but I did think about him a whole lot and I came to a sudden realisation. The man in black texting next to me was the Black Coffee Spirit and he was trying to communicate to me to tell me to stop bloody drinking coffee! I finally got the message! Whilst in Greece, I picked up a pretty bad coffee addiction. (and I do not take any caffeine normally!) Those daily visits (sometimes twice a day even!) to Scala were deadly! Last night, Sharon & Craig suggested coffee after dinner and I could not say NO. Alas, the culprit to all the sleepless nights this past month!

Lessons in Detachment

Yohann in his tent before the unfortunate incident.

I believe we can see the stolen bag in question at the side of the tent ....

I witnessed the most amazing demonstration of Detachment today. Yohann had all his luggage stolen at the Paleochero bus station; computer, video camera, all his clothes, books…. Everything. It could very easily have happened to me, and I can just see myself yelling, screaming and crying! Well, Yohann did none of that. He calmly searched, investigated, sat down to review what was lost and got on with what had to be done. From the outside, he looked kindda worried and troubled, but not a hint of anger! I was in absolute awe! I mean, this is a guy who lost thousands of Euros worth of equipment, all the data on this computer (photos, email contacts, job bookings…), and he had to leave for a 3 week roadshow around France this weekend.

I lost me silver pendants in Anidri last week and even though I kept saying that it did not matter, it still ate at me! I went up to the Taverna twice to look for em. Makes me feel kindda ridiculous in light of things!


Coincidentally, Rachel was carrying a book called “Letting Go” when all this happened. We found out later that Rachel lost everything she owned in a fire a couple of years ago and had her lesson in detachment then. Jayne has all 40 years of her life in 10 boxes! I have moved more than 5 times in the past 4 years and each time, I need 2 20ft containers! I wonder what that says about me! I am afraid I have issues with Letting Go and am not ready for anything more than homeopathic doses of Detachment. I hope that God continues to give me my Detachment lessons from the 3rd party perspective! :)

Greek Circus – So, it’s over!

The 4 Agreements

Playing with bones

Playing with each other

Discovering our bodies

Dancing on the beach (yes, this was class time!) Great!


The month with the Greek Circus is over and I am now on my way home. I am so happy to be going home to see the boys yet half of me is so scared of going home. Responsibilities, decisions, bills to pay…. For one month, the only decision I had to make was whether to take a morning siesta or go to town for coffee. It was great, but life has to go on, I guess.

Many circus mates were taking stock; How much they have learned; Was it worth the time and money. Well, I have been asking myself the same questions. I had a marvellous time, but concretely, how has it made a difference? Could I have gotten more out of a month trekking in Nepal or sailing the Greek islands instead?

Arnaud doing the banana stretch on Anastasi

Kathy flying Stella @ the beach (non-class time!)

Stella 6 mths pregnant @ our pre-natal class

Until the last moment at the circus, I was still awaiting some grand illumination from God that will show me the way…. Alas, Malaka, there was no bloody enlightenment this time round. (For more information about my Enlightenment experience at Lahu village, check out the Apr 08 blog entry!) I learnt so much during this month but I have no idea what to do with all this! I came to the circus to learn massage, yoga & meditation… and I did, and much more. I am all body worked-out; 8hrs everyday; every imaginable type of yoga (Ashtanga, Yin, Anusara, Dance), Capeiro, Silat, QiGong, Dance, Chinese meridian stretching, Massage….. But, has my practise improved? I don’t know!

Stella & Adriane - Assisted child pose?

Tina & Stella doing the Frog.

Adriane & I - Frog on overly flexible people!

Assisted Upavistha Konasana?

Itzhak doing the side stretch on David.
Yohann & Panos Tango-ing.

Yohann and Adriane- tango twist combined with side stretch.

Tina flying me

Pei doing the cobra (no4) on me

In the last week at the circus, I panicked and decided to put in extra practise hours outside of class. Disaster! I had all these wonderful intentions and I gave horror massage after horror massage! Of course, I was there to deliver a Thai Yoga Massage…. So, I start off with a little Russian Dance to get into the rhythm of things (following Kaline’s advice about the practise being a meditative dance), then I throw in some dynamic harmonic work a la David (i love the rocking movements; it’s so calming), then I think, hey, let’s do some flying, then, how about some cranal-sacral work (it’s cool and new!), then oh, I just remembered that the patient mentioned she has knee pain, so I attack the 6 knee points, turn her over and do acu-pressure on UB40, oh, but I can see Spleen 6, so let’s do some work there, and next thing I know, I am on stomach36, GB34 and working the Chinese meridian points and doing shiatsu……. 1 ½ hrs later, I still have not reached her shoulders and she told me specifically to work her upper back when she arrived!

You get the idea? We had a gigantic buffet of body-work techniques this month and glutton that I am, I over-ate and am suffering from a serious case of indigestion! The problem isn’t only with the massage though. I am trying to figure out how to put in QiGong, Chinese Meridian stretching, Dance, Caipero etc… into my yoga practise! I loved them all and want to integrate it into my practise. My students will be in for some fun (or they will be looking for a new teacher!). haha.

Rachel & I @ my Evaluation Massage

I did my Evaluation massage on Rachel before leaving the circus and even though there was no big bright light, I did come to some very important conclusions.
1. The massage is a meditation. When I am 100% mindful, the massage takes on a new dimension.
2. No planning and sequencing. Let the body tell me where to go next. If I start planning what I want to do in the massage, I get bogged down with techniques and moves and the massage looses its magical qualities.
3. I need to enjoy the massage as much (and if not more) than the Receiver. The massage should be relaxing and fun; Any tension I hold in my body will be transmitted to the Receiver through my hands. (Yes, I will always remember David slapping my fingers telling me to relax. Tomorrow, I will go out to buy some tomatoes and practise massaging em!)

CONCLUSION : Amazing month. Learnt a lot. (and Arnaud, I am not just saying it to earn brownie points, even though earning credits for Laos may not be a bad idea…). It has been so wonderful that I am planning to do the Laos Circus in Feb then the Acroyoga Thai massage circus in Spain in June! Yes, I am hooked! Haha. Now, someone needs to tell me how to make money whilst doing all this!

Dancing @ the Yoga Shala

Monkeys? (I am just jealous cos I can't walk on my hands or do a cart-wheel!)

Yes, these are our teachers!! :) I guess they don't call this the circus for nothing!